behind “here i am”

Being present and even learning what that feels like is in every stroke of this painting.

I painted this piece outside. On the water. In the presence of trees that were hundreds of years old. Next to seagulls and my pup Archie. On a beautiful sunny Seattle kind of summer morning. With a coffee steaming and my favorite colors of paint. Alone. 

It was as heavenly as it sounds. 

But about 15 minutes into painting, I caught myself thinking of alllllllll the other landscapes I should paint and places that were more beautiful. Mountains, parries, oceans white with foam. You name it. 

But then it hit me. I was in this dreamy place with the most perfect set up my artist self could ask for and practically wishing all of the good things away. 

Wishing them away with the illusion that I could be and have and need more. Actively trading every bit of beauty I had for something I thought would maybe be a little bit shinier, wild, and beautiful. 

Totally missing the life I was actually in. 

This piece was painted earlier in the collection and is a physical image of the shift in mindset. Of practicing being present. To take a minute to open my eyes and look at the good around me and really soak it in. 

Through painting the rest of the series I wasn’t always in a beautiful space, bright eyed with a steaming cup of coffee, but I could point out other beautiful people, places and moments I had. My kind neighbors I’m surrounded by, a long walk, waking up before an alarm, a stunning sunset, a thoughtful compliment from a stranger. These little happenings have the ability to light up my day if I let them and the cheap materialistic list of “better” which tends to be more of a thief began to shrink. 

So I hope these pieces have been a breath for you in your feed. A moment to get still and let the chatter quiet. A visual story and reminder to take moment of space to enjoy all of the goodness and beauty around you because it was designed perfectly for you and it is yours to have.